Why Working Moms Feel Guilty

For many working moms, guilt seems to follow them everywhere.

At work, you may wonder whether you're spending enough time with your children. At home, part of you may be thinking about the email you haven't answered or the project you need to finish. And when you finally have time for yourself, you may feel guilty for wanting that, too.

It can start to feel like there is no choice that doesn't involve letting someone down.

Why do working moms feel so guilty? Often, working mom guilt isn't simply a sign that you're doing something wrong. It can reflect the expectations you've learned to carry about motherhood, work, and your responsibility to other people.

Maybe being a "good mother" means always being available. Maybe being successful means never dropping the ball professionally. Maybe asking for help feels uncomfortable because you've spent much of your life being the capable one.

When those expectations collide, there may be no realistic way to satisfy all of them.

When Working Mom Guilt Leads to Doing More

It's tempting to respond to guilt by trying harder.

You spend more time with your children. Work later after bedtime. Volunteer for another school activity. Put your own needs farther down the list.

Doing more may temporarily quiet the guilt, but it doesn't necessarily change what's underneath it.

Instead, it can be helpful to get curious about the guilt.

Whose expectations are you trying to meet? What does it mean to you when you can't meet everyone's needs? Why can prioritizing yourself feel selfish—even when you know intellectually that it isn't?

Therapy can help working moms understand these patterns rather than simply finding better ways to manage an impossible list.

You can care deeply about your career and deeply about being a mother. The goal isn't to stop caring. It's to develop a more flexible relationship with the expectations you carry.

If working motherhood has become associated with persistent guilt, anxiety, or the feeling that you're never doing enough, therapy for working moms in St. Louis, Missouri can provide space to understand what's underneath that pressure.

Looking for Support As A Working Mother?

Joanna Haydon, JD, LCSW, is a psychotherapist providing therapy for working moms in St. Louis, Missouri and throughout Missouri and Illinois. She works with working mothers experiencing anxiety, mom guilt, maternal burnout, overwhelm, perfectionism, and the mental load of balancing work and motherhood. Joanna also supports high-achieving women who feel pressure to keep everything together while struggling to make space for their own needs.

Joanna provides telehealth therapy throughout Missouri and Illinois. Learn more about Motherhood, Postpartum & Working Moms Therapy, explore Therapy for High-Achieving Women, or contact Joanna to learn more about working together.