High-Functioning Anxiety in High-Achieving Women

High-functioning anxiety can be easy to miss—especially in high-achieving women.

You may be successful at work, dependable in your relationships, and the person others turn to when something needs to get done. From the outside, you look capable. Maybe exceptionally capable.

But underneath that competence, there may be a constant sense of pressure.

You replay conversations. You worry about disappointing people. You have difficulty resting when there is still something that could be done. You accomplish one thing and almost immediately start thinking about the next.

For many high-achieving women, anxiety doesn't necessarily look like falling apart. Sometimes, it looks like working harder.

When Anxiety Becomes Part of Achievement

High-functioning anxiety isn't a formal diagnosis, but the phrase can describe an experience many successful women recognize: appearing to function well while privately experiencing significant anxiety, perfectionism, self-doubt, or fear of failure.

The difficult part is that some of the behaviors driven by anxiety may also be the ones that have helped you succeed.

Over-preparing gets rewarded. Being highly responsible makes you dependable. Anticipating problems makes you good at your job. Holding yourself to exceptionally high standards may have contributed to your accomplishments.

So when does achievement become a problem?

Often, it isn't the achievement itself. It's what achievement has come to mean.

If making a mistake feels like more than making a mistake or if it makes you question your competence or worth, the pressure can become exhausting.

Therapy for High-Achieving Women

Therapy doesn't have to be about becoming less ambitious or caring less about your career.

Instead, we can become curious together about what sits underneath the pressure to perform.

Why is it so difficult to feel finished? What happens emotionally when you disappoint someone? Why does slowing down feel uncomfortable? Who are you when you're not accomplishing something?

For high-achieving women, therapy can help separate wanting to succeed from needing to succeed in order to feel okay.

If This Feels Familiar, Maybe It’s Time to Get Curious?

Joanna Haydon, JD, LCSW, provides therapy for high-achieving women experiencing anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, relationship difficulties, and the pressure to keep everything together. She provides telehealth psychotherapy in St. Louis and throughout Missouri and Illinois.